What's French for Soymilk?
by Puppy with Sharp Teeth
Summary: With a little help from Akira’s credit cards, the three little piggies decide to break the monotony of daily life and go on a trip. “Akira! Get down from that fountain! She’s not supposed to be wearing clothes, its art! BAKA YAROU!" Shuji/Akira slash.


**What's French for Soymilk?**

**Title:** What's French for Soymilk?

**Chapter:** 1

**Fandom:** Nobuta wo Produce

**Pairing:** Gureen buta to Pinku buta, with Nobuta by their side. Does contain slash, but there is also some gen thrown in.

**Genre: **Romance and Humour.

**Rating: **At present, PG-13. Might go up later, might not.

**Dedicated to: **The Goth Detectives: Noel Fielding and Russell Brand.

**Summary: **With a little help from Akira's shiny credit cards, our favourite three little piggies decide to break the monotony of daily life and go on a trip around the world. "Akira! Get down from that fountain! She's not supposed to be wearing clothes, its art! BAKA YAROU!"

**Warnings:** Apart from the aforementioned slash content, there will be pairings and characters that you might recognise (but probably not). Mostly just cameos for kicks, as this is not a cross-over.

**A/N:** Here you go. I promised I would write this, and I wasn't lying. I realise for about the fourteenth time that the Nobuta fandom needs more love, so I'm going Florence Nightingale on the fandom's ass and writing all I can to keep it breathing and thriving. Guys, if you ever get an idea for a Nobuta fic, however small, act upon it. Write, write, write, and spread the love of a world where anything magical makes the sky turn dark blue, Willow Fairies learn to smile, and where the shoujo love is as possible as the shounen. The are (almost) no bad Nobuta wo Produce fics.

I wrote this cause I felt yet another bunny coming on.

Also, the bit about the several week break is probably all just a very convenient but implausible fabrication. From the (extremely) little I know about holidays and breaks and such in Japan, they just don't take several week vacations. Do not trust my wishful thinking. Shhhh….. Fanfic-logic. Just go with it please .;

**What's French for Soy Milk?**

It had come out of nowhere, born, like many other things, from Akira's boredom. While they were watching TV one day, Akira oozed off the couch onto the floor, like some great soggy udon noodle, with limbs pooling around him. Shuji ignored him; this wasn't really out of the ordinary.

"Shu~u~ji-kun," the noodle boy said softly. "I'm bored. We should do something interesting. Interesting and youthful."

Shuji raised his eyebrows. Oh dear, that sounded familiar. "Before you explain what you mean by that, I would just like to say that we are not, I repeat, NOT producing someone again." Akira burst out laughing, and stayed like that for a minute or two. Shuji waited for it to cease, and it did. The other boy wiped his cheek and stretched, then waved his hand in dismissal. "No, no. We're not. I meant…something exciting. It doesn't _have_ to be something no-ones done before. But we need some freedom. We haven't left the house in four days, Shuji! Four! Ichi-Ni-San-SHI! As in death! If we don't leave soon we will _die_ and when they find us we'll meow at them and try to strangle them with our hair! ARGH!" Akira panicked, clutching desperately at his hair.

"Calm down. We're not going to die, baka," said Shuji, shaking his head. "_Definitely no more late night curse-ghost movies. It's bad for his imagination,_" he thought. Akira stopped trying to yank out his potentially murderous hair to listen to his friend. "We can go outside if you really want to, but right now, it's raining kinda hard," he reasoned. For a moment, Akira actually seemed to be contemplating it, but then he shook his head. "Uh-uh. Cold outside. I wanna be warm. It's nice and warm in here with Shuji-kun." The tall boy emphasized this by dragging himself back onto the couch and curling up with his head resting on Shuji's lap.

Shuji rolled his eyes. Typical, he just had to have the most indecisive person in the world for a boyfriend. "Well, what do you suggest we do then? You want to leave the house but you don't? How the hell are we going to compromise on that?" he said, humouring the boy. He had to admit, it was pretty monotonous in their apartment, cosy or not.

They had a game consol to play with, a reasonably big T.V. (one of numerous lavish housewarming gifts from Akira's father) and even a dartboard if they got really desperate. Desperation had come and gone. As much as he hated to admit it, he was up for almost anything to distract him. Hopefully, they could BOTH find something interesting to do, before he wrung Akira's neck for the constant cries of "Boreeeed! Soooooooo BOOOORRED!

Akira blew air through pouted lips while contemplating Shuji's question. "Hmm…I suppose we could stand in the doorway, but that's not fun either," he said at last. Shuji sighed in defeat and started playing with his friend's hair absentmindedly. "Do you wanna call Nobuta and see if she wants to come over?" he asked. One of the biggest advantages in moving to Tokyo, they both often agreed, was getting to see Nobuta almost every day.

Akira smiled brightly. "Kon-kon!" he said, pointing towards the phone with his fox puppet. Shuji nodded and picked up the phone, dialling a number that he could have called in his sleep. The other boy giggled excitedly and sat up. He leaned into Shuji so that their noses were almost touching, so that he could call out to Nobuta the second she picked up.

"Moshi-moshi?" came the monotone sound of their female companion. Shuji smiled almost as widely as his boyfriend at that soft voice. "…Ah…Shuji?"

"Yes, it's me." Tugtugtug. "And Akira," he said pushing away the hands that were trying to grab the phone out of his fingers. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. Mariko and I are doing well in culinary school." She called out to her friend behind her and spoke into the phone again, "Shuji, Akira, Mariko is here. Would you like to say hello?"

Shuji looked to Akira, who nodded. "Sure, put her on," he said. For a moment there was silence, but it was replaced with the familiar voice of Mariko on the other end. "Hello, Shuji? How's it going?" she said cheerfully. He fidgeted a little; he still could hardly believe they were on good terms after everything that had happened between them, but he was very grateful that they were.

"Hi, Mariko-chan. I'm good, and the leech on my leg-" he said, pausing to look down at Akira, who was kon-konning happily at Shuji's nose, while giving the thumbs up with his other hand, "-he's good too."

Mariko laughed her pretty melodious laugh. Although she had never really been properly introduced to Akira before they came back, she did know that the guy obviously made Shuji happy. So as far as she was concerned, Akira was okay with her, weird habits and all. "That's good. We miss you guys, especially Nobuta. You should drop by sometime, our cooking is getting so much better! My pastries still need a little work, but Nobuta is amazing!"

"Aw…she called her Nobuta. They must be really good friends now, daccha!" Akira whispered. He grinned ear to ear and cradled his chin between his hands, listening to every word. Shuji smiled and nodded in agreement. That was definitely a thing. "Okay, we will."

"Yay! We'll make you something nice when you come. Just call before though, kay?" she laughed. "Oh! Sorry, I'm taking up too much time, aren't I? Well, I gotta go too. So I'll talk to you soon, bye!" she handed back the phone and hurriedly said goodbye to Nobuta.

"…Hello? Shuji? It's me again," she said.

"Oh, hi…" he laughed nervously. "It sounds like you guys are having fun, ne?"

"H-hai. A lot of fun," she finished awkwardly. Although she had gotten a lot better at speaking face to face with other people, she still had yet to master the art of the telephone conversation.

Akira pouted at Shuji, clearing wanting him to get to the important issue of relieving their boredom. His boyfriend sighed, taking the hint. "Um, Nobuta? There's a reason we called. We need…help."

"…what do you need help with?" she asked. Most people would have missed the subtle sincerity in her voice, but Shuji was relieved when he heard it.

"We're bored. Very, very bored. Akira is driving me up the wall," he explained quickly. "Yesterday he spoke to an orange and I swear to gods I heard it answer him. Help us!" he pleaded. "If we don't do something interesting soon, I'm going to lose my mind."

"Help us! Kon~!" said Akira.

"Um, have you thought of taking a vacation maybe?" she offered. "…Maybe some time away will make you feel better. Since there are a couple weeks of break now, why don't you go somewhere nice?"

Shuji would have kissed her in gratitude had she been there, even if it would have made Akira pout and insist that he get to kiss her too. "That's…perfect!" he exclaimed. Why the hell hadn't he thought of that? A vacation sounded wonderful right now. Of course, ordinarily he would never have been able to afford going anywhere, but having a rich best/boyfriend definitely had its' perks. "You can pay," he said to Akira.

Said boyfriend finally grabbed the phone out of his hand excitedly. "Ne, Nobuta! You should come with Akira and Shuji! We can go everywhere you want to!" he giggled.

Shuji groaned; Akira was not considering the possibility that Nobuta might have plans, or like him, a job. But he had to admit, if they went anywhere, he would really love Nobuta to be there with them. As fun as it was to do things alone with Akira, things were always so much more interesting when she was also there.

"…O-okay," she said. Shuji fell off the couch, taking Akira with him. "Really?! That's fantastic!" he said as he disentangled his limbs from Akira's and sat up. The taller boy merely lay on the floor in contentment. In his head, he listed the places he would have to take Shuji and Nobuta. Privately, he'd always intended to travel the world, but he'd never felt like doing it by himself. Now that he had people to go with, he couldn't be happier.

"Well, um…talk to you later then. Bye," Shuji finished.

"Bye-bye Shuji. Bye Akira," Nobuta said quietly before putting the phone down. She felt like she had helped, although she wasn't sure how she ended up agreeing to travel with them. The last thing she wanted to do was spoil a potentially romantic trip for them by being the third wheel. She really hoped that wouldn't happen.

"Shu~u~ji-kun," said Akira, bringing his friend back down to Earth. "Hm?" he mumbled. The boy kissed him softly on the lips and leaned against the couch. "Now I get to go to Paris with Shuji-kun!"

"EH?!"

"Hehehe. Don't worry Shuji. I have my gold card. We can travel _everywhere_ we want!"

O

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**To be continued…**

_Hello again. So…the start of another fic. What do you guys think? I'm still working out the plot for this one, but I'm hoping it will be good. Please please please comment!_


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